I walk to their village and when I get there I realize that I am such an outsider. The natives are very active people. I on the other hand am just a geek. I don't have an active lifestyle. I am not in shape. Heck I sit in a chair eight hours a day hoping that I can leave the chair and enjoy being at home sitting on a couch. Now that I think about it I go from bed to car to work chair to car to couch to bed. I don't seem to spend much time standing up.
The environment is so foreign and different. I am really out of place. I don't want to be here but I must. I must learn the ways of these people to understand how they operate. In a way I am jealous of them. I want a simpler life. One that isn't full of complexities of being a geek. I don't want to worry about how slow my computer is and how I am not able to play the latest game. I don't want to worry about catching up on my hundreds of rss feeds that I haven't read yet. I want to be more like these native people.
They obviously spend more time in the sun than I do. I do have Hispanic heritage in my family but I am very pale for a Mexican. Most Mexicans that spend time out in the sun are considerably darker than I am. Heck I am so sensitive to the sun that I find it unpleasant to be outside.
I look at their faces and they don't seem to happy. Maybe they aren't a happy people. I might be idolizing the wrong village. Maybe being like them isn't the end all be all that I am looking for. Perhaps I need to journey to a different village and learn their ways.
I need to get changed into native clothing. I am lucky that I purchased clothing similar to the natives in a shop back in town. So maybe if I don't look like the natives at least I can dress in similar clothing as the natives. I walk to the changing hut and get dressed. Their clothing is a lot more revealing than what I am used to.
I walk up to one of the head natives and ask how do I become more like them. He responds by saying that first I must walk the trail and points over at the far end of the village. He said that the area is full of large predators and once it starts to become dark I should run the rest of the way. The sun is already starting to go down so I must hurry. This is quite a way to start my training. It's funny how my life is in danger on my first task.
I begin walking the trail. The scenery is quite bland with not much to look at. The other natives are quite breathtaking. There are a few out of shape natives but the toned and defined bodies considerably outnumber them. If I could look more like them I bet my life would be better.
One native female next to me is incredibly beautiful. I must talk to her. But I don't know if she even speaks English. I look over at her and smile. She notices and smiles back. "Hi, my name is Tom what's your name?" She looks back at me puzzled. I guess not all of the natives speak English around here. Even in a foreign land girls still reject me. Is that my curse? So I continue on my trail.
The trail has a difficult incline that is starting to burn my calves. It is starting to become hot around here. I can feel my perspiration sticking to my body now. No matter how many times I sweat I just hate it. I sweat way too much. Any time I have a little amount of stress my shirts get soaked. Just walking to the café at lunchtime will get me all hot and sweaty. I have extra shirts at work just in case I sweat too much.
The sun is starting to set. I fear that the predators will be coming out. Not like the Predator that they have in the movies. Those guys are so cool. I love how they have shoulder-mounted lasers. Even if they were talking about movie predators I would still have to run. I am not in the shape of a future governor. I would not stand a chance against one of those.
I start off on a light jog hoping that I can finish this trail sooner. But jogging is not something that I do often. So after just a few steps I already start to feel the pain. I feel like a fat cartoon character who takes a few steps running and looses his breath. I am not that bad but I sure do feel like it. Not only do my calves hurt now but my lungs are starting to hurt.
I notice that everyone around me is now gone. Where the heck did they go? It is getting really quiet around here. Ok now I am starting to get scared. I can hear some rustling coming from behind me. I think it is time to make a run for it. I pick up the pace and start to feel the burn. I look behind me but I cannot find anyone behind me. But I still have that feeling I am being followed.
Now I am in a full on run. I look back again and see a shadowy figure following me. Crap is this one of those predators. Am I gonna wind up as cat food? Ann saw a bobcat while we went camping one time. She was going potty in the woods and was literally caught with her pants down. It didn't notice her but this one noticed me. He was also gaining on me.
I am now running for my life. If I didn't have so much weight and wasn't so out of shape I could easily get out of this situation. Back in high school I was totally in shape. I was at the head of the class in running the mile and sprinting. I wasn't the fastest but I was in the top five. But high school was a long time ago and I wasn't running to save my life.
The air is warm and stuffy. I am having a difficult time breathing. I wish this foreign land had air conditioning. I can feel sweat just flowing from my body. Eventually I know I will be sweating so much that it will start getting in my eyes.
I am not excited to be stuck in this situation. Somehow I am gonna have to make it to the end of the trail. I start rung at full speed giving it my all. I don't want to die now but my body is sending me its own message. It is saying, "Give up fat boy. You know you want to go on a computer while eating chips and drinking a soda." Dang my body knows me so well. Why argue with a statement like that? I wonder if I have more Mountain Dew in the car?
Man I am out of shape. I just keep on running even though I am tired as hell. My face is now pouring sweat and its now getting in my eyes. I wipe my eyes clear and continue. My muscles are tired and sore. My lungs are burning. I struggle to inhale every breath. My whole body is working against me, its telling me that I need to stop. I fight the urge to end it. I take a look behind me and see my shadowy figure catching up to me. My journey is almost over. I have lost to a greater opponent.
Maybe if I hold out just a bit longer. "Sir I am going to have to ask you to get off the treadmill. You didn't bring a towel and your getting sweat all over the machine." Damn, I give in to my worthy opponent.
That was a good workout. I feel like I burned a lot of calories. I look on the machine and it says I only burned 20 calories. Uh that doesn't seem right, I should have burned a lot more calories. I look at the clock to see how long I have been on the machine and it says five minutes. I am totally out of shape. I need to work out a lot more. Eh screw that, I am going to Clicks and play some City of Heroes.
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